SOS mode
For the moments when everything is too much. Three quick steps for each situation. Remember: your calm is their anchor.
Breathe yourself first. Before acting, 3 slow breaths: your little one regulates their emotion by borrowing yours.
Go to the calm cornerTantrum (the 8pm one)
Step by step
- 1Get down to their level and breathe yourself first (3 times).
- 2Don't reason yet: connect first. Soft tone, body close.
- 3Name it: «you're very angry because…» and wait for the volcano to settle.
You can say
«It's normal to get angry. I'm here with you. When you're ready, we'll fix it together.»
Avoid: Shouting louder, punishing in the heat of the moment or saying «it's not a big deal».
Inconsolable crying
Step by step
- 1Offer your body: a hug or your hand. Contact calms.
- 2Validate without cutting it off: «cry as much as you need, I'm here».
- 3When it eases, help them put words to what happened.
You can say
«Crying is okay. You don't have to be fine right now.»
Avoid: «Don't cry» or distracting too quickly just to make it stop.
Fear / won't sleep
Step by step
- 1Validate the fear, don't deny it: «what a scare, right?».
- 2Give physical security: a dim light, plush toy, your presence for a while.
- 3Breathe together like a balloon until the body calms down.
You can say
«You're safe. I'll keep watch while you rest.»
Avoid: Mocking the fear or forcing the darkness all at once.
Won't go to school / goodbye
Step by step
- 1Short, secure goodbye: dragging it out increases the anguish.
- 2A fixed ritual, always the same: «kiss, hug, see you later».
- 3Validate and trust: «I know you can, see you at pick-up».
You can say
«I love you, I'll come back for you. You're going to do great.»
Avoid: Slipping away without telling them or lingering at the door.
Fight between siblings
Step by step
- 1Stop the behaviour without blaming: «here we don't hurt each other».
- 2Validate both in turns: each one has their version.
- 3Look for the solution together (don't be the judge who sentences).
You can say
«I'll help you both fix it. What does each of you need?»
Avoid: Comparing («you who are older…») or looking for a single culprit.
Too much (screens, noise, chaos)
Step by step
- 1Reduce stimuli: lower the light and noise, warn before turning off the screen.
- 2Name what's happening: «there's too much, let's go somewhere quiet».
- 3Offer the calm corner or a softer space.
You can say
«Your body is maxed out. Let's turn down the volume together.»
Avoid: Adding more stimuli (shouting, more screen) or cutting it off suddenly without warning.