Why perfectionism isn't the same as doing it well
A meta-analysis of 35 years of data (1989-2016, over 41,000 students) found that the type of perfectionism that hurts most — feeling that others demand perfection from you — has risen 32%. A follow-up published in 2025 confirms the trend isn't slowing, it's accelerating. Here we look at which kind of perfectionism actually causes harm, which doesn't, and what to do if you recognise yourself in this.
⚠️ This is informational content, not clinical guidance. If perfectionism comes with thoughts of self-harm or a very damaging relationship with food, talk to a professional as soon as possible.
💙 And upfront: wanting to do things well isn't a flaw. The problem isn't having high standards, it's not being able to breathe when you don't meet them 100%.
What the research says
Perfectionism isn't a single trait and it isn't always bad — here's what the data shows, with real sources.
It's rising, measured across 35 years of data
Curran and Hill (2018, Psychological Bulletin) analysed 164 samples and over 41,000 students from the US, Canada and the UK between 1989 and 2016: socially prescribed perfectionism rose 32%, self-oriented 10% and other-oriented 16%. A 2025 follow-up (Curran, Hill & Pose) confirms the trend is accelerating, not slowing.
It's not one trait, it's three different directions
Hewitt and Flett's model (1991) distinguishes self-oriented perfectionism (toward yourself), other-oriented (toward others) and socially prescribed (feeling others demand it of you). They're psychologically distinct, and the third is by far the one most linked to anxiety and depression.
Striving and worrying aren't the same
Joachim Stoeber and Kathleen Otto (2006) separate 'perfectionistic strivings' (high goals, achievement orientation) from 'perfectionistic concerns' (fear of error, self-criticism). Only the latter is consistently linked to psychological distress — the former can coexist with real well-being.
It acts as a transdiagnostic factor across disorders
A meta-analysis by Limburg, Watson, Hagger and Egan (2017, Journal of Clinical Psychology) found that both dimensions of perfectionism relate to depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder and eating disorders — it's not an isolated issue, it's a factor that cuts across several distinct diagnoses.
Striving isn't the same as being unable to stop
Psychologist Joachim Stoeber distinguishes two faces of perfectionism that are often confused: 'perfectionistic strivings' (setting high goals and enjoying the process of reaching them) and 'perfectionistic concerns' (the constant fear of making a mistake and the feeling that it's never enough). The first face is linked to more achievement and well-being. The second, to anxiety, exhaustion and self-worth that depends on the outcome.
The piece that actually causes harm, per Hewitt and Flett's model (1991), is 'socially prescribed perfectionism' — the sense that it's others (parents, bosses, social media) who demand perfection, not you. It's precisely this type that has risen 32% in 35 years: it's not that young people demand more of themselves, it's that they feel the world demands more of them.
The honest metaphor
Harmful perfectionism is a QA process programmed to never give the build a pass. It doesn't matter how many tests your work passes: it always finds one more bug, because the approval criteria were never designed to approve anything.
A quick guide for your situation
Perfectionism doesn't look the same at school as it does at work — a few concrete questions for where you're at.
🎓 If you're studying or just starting your career
What we know
You're part of the generation where socially prescribed perfectionism has risen the most — constant comparison on social media and pressure over an uncertain future are a real part of why.
A question for you
"Who do you really feel the demand for perfection comes from — and is it really that person, or the idea you have of them?"
👔 If you carry the demands into work or parenting
What we know
Self-oriented perfectionism gets passed on: a perfectionistic parent or boss doesn't need to say anything explicit for the people around them to also feel they must be perfect.
A question for you
"What standard do you hold yourself to that, if you saw it in someone else, you'd consider excessive?"
What to actually do this week
None of this erases 35 years of trend in a day. But these are the moves the research backs the most — and where you can start today inside EmotionsDev.
Separate the effort from the judgment
Next time you finish something, evaluate the effort you put in before evaluating the outcome. It's the exact distinction that separates healthy 'strivings' from the 'concerns' that hurt.
Practise small, deliberate failures
Send a message with a typo and don't fix it, hand something in at 90% knowing it is. The goal isn't to lower your standards: it's to check, with real data, that the disaster you imagine almost never happens.
Frequently asked questions
Is having high standards bad perfectionism?+
Not necessarily. 'Perfectionistic strivings' (high goals, enjoying the process) are linked to more achievement and well-being. What causes harm are 'perfectionistic concerns' — fear of error and the feeling it's never enough.
Why has it risen so much among younger people?+
Curran and Hill point to a combination of rising meritocratic competitiveness, social media that enables constant comparison, and more controlling parenting in some settings. It's not one single factor, it's the sum of several.
Does perfectionism cause anxiety or is it the other way round?+
The relationship runs both ways and reinforces itself over time (a two-wave longitudinal study confirms it): perfectionism feeds prolonged stress, and that stress feeds more perfectionism as a way of trying to control it.
What can I do today?+
Pick one task today and decide in advance what level of 'good enough' you'll accept, before you start it. It's a small exercise, but it trains exactly the muscle of separating effort from judgment.
Keep going
Perfectionism rarely travels alone — it usually comes with shame, exhaustion or anxiety.
Sources
Everything cited above, with a direct link.