As a family, emotions are learned together
A space for mums and dads to support your little ones' emotions (and your own along the way). Educational, warm and down to earth: there are no perfect parents here, just families trying with love.
No guilt, honestly: if you've got here looking for help, you're already doing it right. Raising kids is the most beautiful and most exhausting job in the world, and nobody handed us the manual. These ideas are to have on hand on a tantrum day at 8pm, not to score you top marks.
Emotions explained for little ones
The 6 basic emotions, in a version to understand with your child. They all serve a purpose; none is «bad».
Calm corner
When the body speeds up, breathing together helps to return to calm. Press the balloon and follow it with your breathing.
Choose your breathing
Gentle, for little ones
Ready? Let's breathe together 🎈
Letting the air out more slowly than you take it in tells your body you're safe, and it calms down.
Activities to do at home
Simple tools, no expensive materials, for the ordinary days and the hard ones.
Emotion thermometer
A drawing from 1 to 5 so they can point to «how much» they feel something. It puts a number to the invisible.
Calm corner
A soft space (cushion, plush toy, book) to go and recover calm. It's not a punishment: it's a refuge.
Calm jar
A jar with water and glitter: shake it and breathe together while the glitter settles. The mind settles too.
Emotion traffic light
Red: I stop. Amber: I breathe and think. Green: I act. An easy way to brake the impulse.
Emotion diary or story
Before bed: «which emotion came today?». Emotion stories give them words and characters.
Balloon breathing
Inflate the tummy like a balloon and let it out slowly. Calming the body calms the emotion.
Mini-guides for mums and dads
Tantrums
They're not defying you: their «upstairs brain» is still under construction. Get down to their level, connect before correcting and put words to what they feel.
Fears and nightmares
The monster is real to them. Validate without mocking and give them tools: a dim light, a guardian plush, an «anti-monster spray».
Frustration and «I can't do it»
Support the effort, not just the result. Let them make mistakes: learning is born from error.
Sibling jealousy
Don't compare or measure love. One-on-one time with each and validate: «it's normal to sometimes get angry with your brother».
Screens and emotions
Be present, set kind limits and name what they feel when it goes off. Boredom teaches too.
Goodbyes and school
Short, secure goodbyes give more confidence than dragging them out. A goodbye ritual helps: «kiss, hug, see you later».
Six ideas to always keep on hand
- Connect before correcting: the hug first, the limit after.
- All emotions are valid; some behaviours aren't. Feeling is allowed, we support the how.
- Naming what they feel helps them calm it («name it to tame it»).
- Your calm is their calm: little ones regulate their emotions by borrowing yours.
- There's no such thing as the perfect family. Repairing after a bad moment teaches too (a lot).
- Play is their language. Many things are understood better by playing than by talking.
To keep learning
- • Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson — «The Whole-Brain Child». How the child's brain works and calms down.
- • Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson — «No-Drama Discipline». Limits with connection, no shouting or punishment.
- • Marc Brackett — «Permission to Feel» (RULER method). Emotional education with a scientific base.
- • Jane Nelsen — «Positive Discipline». Kind firmness and mutual respect.
- • Rosa Jové — «La crianza feliz». Respectful everyday parenting.
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Frequently asked questions from mums and dads
At what age can I start with emotional education?+
From babies: naming what they feel («you're sleepy», «what a scare») is already emotional education. The sooner the better, but it's never too late to start.
My child has huge tantrums, am I doing something wrong?+
No. Tantrums are normal, especially from 1 to 4: their brain can't regulate the emotion yet. Your calm and your presence are the best tool.
Is it bad for my little one to cry?+
Not at all. Crying is a healthy way to release. Accompanying the crying («I'm here») teaches more than cutting it off («don't cry»).
How do I explain an emotion to a small child?+
With metaphors and the body: the volcano of anger, the calm jar, the waves that come and go. And naming it right when it happens.
Does this replace a child psychologist?+
No. It's support and pedagogy for everyday life. If you're worried about your child's development or distress, consult the paediatrician or a child psychologist.